Grace
Grace. A fitting subject for a website named His Grace Only, only His grace, grace alone. It is a story I can categorize only as miraculous; an adjective all the more unforeseen, interesting, and surprising when, as you will learn, I was a biomedical scientist for forty years. Now retired, I have the time to explore Creation through art; I also keep a fairly close watch on what is happening in the field of physics. Maybe that seems a bit weird, but I believe truth from different vantage points must converge, or it is not true. I don’t believe God plays games, deceives, or even hides from our appreciation of His Universe although we must work very hard to understand it. Through it, he calls me to himself. The heavens declare his glory!
Covering
A few years ago, I was in Iceland with a photo tour. Our last day, the bus stopped at a tawdry little tourist attraction; at least, so I thought. I’ve written more about this experience here. As I perfunctorily captured my last photograph and headed back to our tourbus, I was struck by an epiphany: How fortunate was I to be in that spot, at that time, able to afford my camera equipment, even a trip to Iceland! On the surface, I had attributed my good fortune to hard work, prudent saving, and winning the genetic lottery.
On a deeper level, however, it was more than that. Art, for reasons I did not understand, was driving me in a spiritual direction. It was surprising because I had left the faith of my youth long ago. As my professional career flourished, I was beset, shall we say, by all the temptations that are common to humans. As a youngster, I had striven to be God’s man, to stand in the gap, with many tears I’d warned God that I was close to crumbling, succumbing to my flesh, my sinful nature, and failing. Letting down and disappointing He that formed me in my mother’s womb. And then I did. Failed. Big time. And racked with guilt, I fell into a depression so deep, I questioned the value of life itself. God was not there and he was silent.
Putting away delusions of heroic faith, I decided to forge ahead, alone in the universe. The great weight of guilt surprisingly was lifted from my shoulders and I engaged in every licentious activity that came my way. I became a champion sinner, a professional, MVP level. If you are intrigued with salacious details, we will have to meet for lunch 😉 Of course, it cost my marriage to a woman I had at one time genuinely loved, who had given me three beautiful sons, but hey, collateral damage. They’ll get over it. My narcissistic selfishness knew no bounds. Even so, my career expanded. I developed an international presence. I was popular with my colleagues.
Now this will sound strange, even heretical perhaps to some. But my “first” experience of grace occurred without my even knowing it; I was not conscious of it as such at the time. Grace began to creep in around the edges. The things that once gave me satisfaction grew somewhat bland. There has to be something more than this, but where to look? What is it? I was so busy at the time, however, these questions didn’t rise to a high level of concern. But they were always in the back of my mind and I think they were the distant voice of God calling me back to himself. Grace.
Fast forward twenty plus years. Good years. Prosperity. Success. Freedom. All with a new wife that liked me warts and all! Unbelievable! And my Sundays were free 😉 I retired and took up photography as a hobby, which I pursued with all the intensity I’d given my career. But I could not shake a niggling doubt, that distant voice: Why? What was the point? Why would photography give me such unfathomable satisfaction? Perhaps because of where it was leading me? The worm had turned and I could not let it go. Grace.
An aunt wrote to me and asked about a particular photograph (the one you see above): Why had I titled it as I had? Reflecting on that and wanting to give her a truthful answer, I remembered my epiphany in Iceland. Grace, unmerited favor, surrounds us. Everywhere. We live on a tiny planet, sheltered from a harsh universe by a delicate ecosystem. Our existence here is unimaginably improbable. We can be destroyed in the blink of an eye by a relatively small roving asteroid, at any moment. This does not even come close to addressing our ability to destroy ourselves or the ravages of infectious disease; pestilence, wars, rumors of wars, afflictions daunting in number, our inhumanity towards one another… the list is endless. And yet. We can also know love. Affirmation. Shelter. Inventiveness. Peacemakers. Pastors. Doctors. Wonder. We know, beauty. Significantly, this list too is equally endless. Grace?
Two realities: One terrible. Frightening. The other, inviting. Beautiful. These are common realizations. In other words, we know they are true, that they exist, and are real because we have a personal experience of them. But why?
We seem to have this dichotomy between the terrible and the inviting. Perhaps hairsplitters will say it’s a false dichotomy because it ignores shades of gray, but I am using it as an illustration of the choices that confront us. In the midst of terrible realities, consequences, yet there is grace. We can follow French existentialists and the modern secular culture into despair, cynicism, hedonism. Or we recognize the fact that beauty exists. Love exists. Sacrifice exists. Therein lies hope, perhaps irrational, but hope nonetheless.
If hope exists, then hope in what? A hostile cosmos? Condemned we are. Death is guaranteed for sure. Inevitable. Certain. Our (humanity’s) track record so far does not inspire confidence. Even getting off the planet does not change the fact that in this universe, life is a one-way trip. The legacy of our doom will follow us even into space, where we can infect other worlds beyond our own. And we have not even begun to touch the question of why we exist.
I believe in an alternative pathway. God recognized our dilemma and intervened in history. As crazy as that sounds, recognizing our inability to make a rational choice, he sent Jesus as a teacher, mediator, and sacrifice, the light of the world to lead us out of the darkness permeating the valley of despair. As expected, we killed him to maintain the status quo. Talk about crazy? So if you accept my premise about the elements of reality, you (we) must confront the reality of Jesus in history. Grace.
The resulting questions are relatively simple. Did Jesus enter history? If so, then who was he? Whether Jesus was a genuine historical figure has been debated for centuries. The consensus is that Jesus of Nazareth did, in fact, exist. And he was a good man, a sound teacher, full of precepts worthy of consideration. But just a man. However, let’s consider this: Would a good man lie about who he is? Examine the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John and pay close attention to what Jesus says about himself, about his origin, about his mission, about his destiny. Examine the reactions of those around him, his contemporaries. If he was a fraud, wouldn’t his enemies have unmasked him? Forget about anything else. Consider this: Who does Jesus say that he is? A child can understand the question.
All sorts of caveats have been raised in answer to such questions. Extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence. Tomes have been written, acclaimed, criticized, discounted. That Jesus was sent from and exists as the Son of the triune God has to be the central event of history, of human existence. It is the event. There is no other that compares. It is ridiculously outlandish! Or, it poses a question: Why?
Hang with me. Ephesians, chapter 2 says: “You (we) were dead through the trespasses and sins in which you (we) once lived, following the course of this world, following the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work among those who are disobedient. All of us once lived among them in the passions of our flesh, following the desires of flesh and senses, and we were by nature children of wrath (condemned), like everyone else. But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead through our trespasses (condemned), made us alive together with Christ —by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God — not the result of works (adherence to a code), so that no one may boast. For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.” (Parentheses and emphases mine.) Paul’s words, not mine.
Let’s elaborate on this. First, this paragraph applies to all of us. If we choose the path of despair, we are dead anyway. It doesn’t matter. Our existence is trivial. So what? We should live out our days in the pursuit of our natural inclinations. “Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die!” We (humanity) are doing such a great job of it, too. We don’t need a righteous God to condemn us. The outcome of our actions, our choices as individuals, as nations, as a world community, condemn us to death at the hands of a hostile universe. Consequences. Our existence is unsustainable and worthy of despair indeed. Unsustainable. Ridiculous. Sad. Healthy reasons for despair.
Let’s continue: There is an alternative. In his mercy, God intervened in history to save us through Christ. In this he demonstrates the gift of his grace toward us and we accept this truth by faith. This next part blows my mind: God has made us, in fact, we are created in Jesus to do good things, which God intended from the beginning of the Creation. Even if this is only a mysterious possibility, a ridiculous hope, it seems to me certainly no cause for despair! Indeed, it is Good News. The best news humanity has ever heard, in fact. The gospel. Grace.
So Jesus went to the cross for us, for me. Romans 5:8 says, “But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.” But didn’t we just read that God intended us for good works from the very beginning? Search the scriptures on this. If God knew, who I am, what I was to be, what snares would entrap me, then he knew I was worthy of death. Why would he want someone of my ilk around for eternity? No, he called me from eternity past, he calls you from eternity past, to put on the new nature of Christ. Not to live by adherence to a code. Not to live in licentious freedom either. (Romans 6:1-2, “Should we continue in sin in order that grace may abound? By no means!”) We are, I am, called to live by the indwelling of his spirit. Forgiven, free, he has written his law upon our hearts so that through the church humanity may be redeemed. Paul in Ephesians 3:8-12, “Although I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given to me to bring to the Gentiles the news of the boundless riches of Christ, and to make everyone see what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things; so that through the church the wisdom of God in its rich variety might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was in accordance with the eternal purpose that he has carried out in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have access to God in boldness and confidence through faith in him.”
He knew. He knew… 😭 He knew all along that I would betray him. That I would give up. Yet, he called me. Though I am faithless, he is faithful. This is grace.
What then is my responsibility?
Who is the church?
The church is us, my friends.
We are those in whom his very spirit, the spirit of the living God, lives and breathes and continues to call us to himself that we, in partnership with him may work to share the good news with those who are lost, who are overcome by fear and despair. That is grace. I listen, I seek to be obedient, not in adherence to a code. Out of gratitude. That is grace. That is grace! I sometimes fail to hear, or worse yet, turn away, from that still small voice. He forgives me. Once, for all, continually reminds me, he covers my debt with his own life that I may return to fellowship with him. To walk with obedience. That I may return to good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our (my) way of life. That is grace.
O that the world would see the transforming grace of our Lord Jesus Christ in those who are called by his name. He is not willing that any should perish, that all may come to repentance, so says Peter, the first convert, the man who denied Jesus three times the morning his Lord was crucified. THIS is grace.